Guys, Brains Are Important

Brains are important and I shouldn't be allowed to go out of the house when mine is out of commission. I especially shouldn't do anything requiring competence. . . That usually ends up going poorly for me. Take today for example!

I woke up sick. My head felt like my brain was hiding in a corner just out of reach and that an angry construction worker was going to town with a jackhammer in my skull. And then, of course, my skin didn't want ANYTHING touching it which was difficult because I had to go be a real person today. Well, kind of.

I made it to my English class on time and I even did my French homework before class. However, by the time French rolled around I knew I would be useless in the class. I sent my homework with a classmate and meandered home. I knew I needed to rest up before taking on my French test I had later tonight.

Well I slept until my phone woke me up and then I decided that then was as good a time as any to take the test (as illnesses usually get worse, not better, as evening approaches). I dragged myself out of the apartment, hated the warmth of the sun on my sensitive skin the entire walk up, and considered laying down on the hill leading up to campus (I'm dramatic when I don't feel well, guys).

Anyways, I made it to the testing center, signed up for my test, and walked in to brave the inevitable storm looming ahead.

Something unique about the Humanities testing center is that you trade your BYU ID card for scratch paper and you get your ID card after you're done with your test. As I was waiting to get my scratch paper stamped I noticed that my phone was sitting on the table next to my ID card. I grabbed my phone and put it with the rest of my stuff before sitting down to take my test.

Forty minutes later a girl was missing her phone. Remember that my brain isn't working properly (and that I'm directing all of my smarts toward the test) before judging me on my next actions.

I realized that the phone I had grabbed earlier may not have been mine, but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to leave my desk while I was taking a test. I figured I would just check the phone after I was done and see if I'd mistakenly grabbed someone else's phone under the impression that it was my own.

Well the situation escalated over the next forty-five minutes. I finished my exam a few minutes after the campus police showed up. I exchanged my scratch paper for my ID and went over to my things. There, on top of my backpack was a phone that was the same model as mine, but in a different phone case. I then remembered that I had silenced my phone and put it in my backpack just before walking into the testing center.

With a good dose of embarrassment I walked over to the desk with the testing center people and the policeman with the phone. I told them, "I thought this was my phone and it's not. I am so sorry."

They thanked me for returning it and assured me that it was fine when I asked if I'd caused a problem (I obviously had, but they were too nice to tell me so).

And THAT, my dear friends, is the "brain" with which I took one of the most challenging tests of my life. Brains are important, everyone. Brains are important.

Cravings

Today at work I thought all I needed was chocolate. In actuality, I was craving this coffeecake. I made it this evening and it was perfect. So. . . Here is the recipe to the best coffeecake you will ever have. You're welcome :)

Coffeecake

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup salad oil (I used canola)
• 1 beaten egg
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 1/2 cups sifted flour
• 3/4 cups sugar
• 2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 cup raisins (opt)
• 1 tsp. vanilla (opt)

Topping:

• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 Tbsp. flour
• 1 tsp. cinnamon
• 1 Tbsp. melted butter
• 1/2 cup broken nuts

Combine oil, egg, and milk. Sift dry ingredients; add to milk mixture; mix well. Pour into greased 9x9x2-inch pan. For topping. combine the brown sugar, 1 Tbsp. flour, cinnamon, and melted butter and nuts and sprinkle over batter. Bake at 375˚ for about 25 minutes or until done. Serve warm

Let me know what you think!

True Story

I want to do anything--let me emphasize that last word:

ANYTHING*

Other than write this paper right now.

Even cry. Crying sounds like an acceptable thing to do right now. In the library. . . Surrounded by a bunch of strangers. . . Yep. Sounds like a good life decision.

Sometimes school is hard.

*(This excludes wanting to murder anyone or steal or create a war or die or any number of other things that would normally fall under the category of "anything." Sorry to disappoint)

Another Snapshot

It was my Sophomore year of high school and I was walking to the front doors with my best friend so we could go home. I ran into my friend Nick. He had another guy with him. Apparently they were friends.

I introduced myself to Nick's friend and, after a conversation, decided that I wanted to know what his name was. He told me it was Steven.

I sometimes have a difficult time remembering people's names unless I'm able to make some sort of connection to it. I have an uncle named Steven so the thought process went something like this: I have an uncle Steven. This guy has the same color of hair as my uncle. Steven. I can remember that.

I committed to remembering his name and walked away. The next time I saw him I said, "Oh hey Steven!" I didn't really catch that it took him a moment to register that I was talking to him. I probably assumed that he didn't remember who I was. He did answer to the name, though, and we parted ways.

A few months later I was talking to Brittney about Steve. She finally broke down and told me that she had been in on a secret but felt bad about keeping it from me. Steve's name was not really Steven. It was Logan. He and Nick thought it was so funny that I was calling him the wrong name that they had decided to keep the charade up for the entire year. I was annoyed, but I decided that, even though I knew the truth, Steven (Logan) would always be Steve to me. And, if it bothered him, he would just have to tell me.

I call him Steve to this day and I still have a difficult time remembering which is his real name. I usually just refer to him as Steve-Logan if he ever comes up in conversation. Seeing as how I'm not in high school anymore and my friend group is largely different, that doesn't happen very often. So his names are buried somewhere in the recesses of my mind right next the equations used in geometry. Unused, maybe a little dusty. . . Old.

This happened years ago and I only thought about it tonight because I met a man named Steven. At least, I think his name was Steven. I don't know for certain, though. After all, I learned in high school that you never can tell with Steves.

On Living

A few weeks ago I realized that I didn't want to spend my days worrying about what other people thought of me, who was or was not interested in me, or what might happen if I didn't ace every single test I took (or any test) I took.

I realized that I want to live!

I want to happily pursue the dreams that I didn't ever hope to entertain simply because I was afraid of what might happen if I went for them. I realized that I had been letting the what ifs keep me from the what cans (if that makes any sort of sense). I realized that I was letting fear hold me back from my potential.

So I let go.

I decided that I was going to make friends. I decided that I was going to pursue relationships (aka fabulous friendships) with people. I decided I was going to be involved. I devoted more time to music, I devoted more time to my roommates. I started to talk to people I didn't know incredibly well. I found myself smiling more often and laughing more readily. I found more happiness.

That's not to say that things have been all peaches strawberries and cream since I made that decision. I got rid of a lot of the pressure I was putting on myself with regards to other people, but it's hard to just up and change your attitude and habits in a blink. It's a process. However, I know that it's a process that's worth my while because, through it, I have found myself coming closer to my Heavenly Father. I have found myself remembering my infinite worth. I guess I forgot some of that for a while.

I'm far from perfect and I'm far from perfect in this area. Our society constantly encourages comparisons and checklists. Rarely will you find a message on a billboard or television telling you that you are amazing and have infinite worth simply because you are a child of Heavenly Father and have the potential to become like Him. Rarely will you hear that your worth stems only from that aforementioned fact. Rather, we hear that, if you look like this person, if you reach this ideal, if you are the best in such-and-such an area then you are worth something. We hear lies designed to make us forget who we are and all we can do.

The great news is that we don't have to believe them. We can reject that and allow ourselves to remember who we are and whose we are. We can allow ourselves to accept our worth and potential. 

We can allow ourselves to let go, 

pursue, 

and live.

This is Brittney, taken by me :)