Introvert-esque Moment

Dear Cambry,
Please come back. Your current self is missing you. Because the you she remembers liked being with herself and was okay talking to people and being kind without worrying that something terrible was going to happen. Where did you go? You're needed at the front ASAP!
Love,
Your current self.

BASICALLY, I'm trying to find all of myself again. I have enough to make it so that new people probably don't notice anything weird, but I feel it. I feel a lack of confidence that didn't used to be there. I'm more anxious about things that I know are going to be taken care of, and I feel myself holding back where I wouldn't have before.

Maybe that's a good thing. . . I'm more careful about what I say. Sometimes I'll even THINK before I say it! But a lot of the time I don't say something that I want to because I'm not sure how it will be taken--unless I feel safe with the people I'm around (If that's the case I'm practically unscathed). I simply don't find myself trusting as readily as I used to. And I hate it.

I mean, as a general rule, I trust that people aren't going to be cruel or nasty, but I find it more difficult to open up than I'd like.

I find myself clinging to the things that make me different that I KNOW some people would find weird. And I set up my defensive stance and bristle at any mention of the word weird or a synonym like unto it. I find that I'm far too worried about how others view my personality.

I suppose that I forgot for a moment who I am and whose I am. I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. He created me the way I am for a reason, and he allowed me to go through my particular set of trials because those trials would teach me and ultimately help me become who I desire to be. And He placed me here at this time because it's when and where I'll bloom.

I'm not perfect. I have weird quirks and sometimes I don't live up to my potential. But I think we all have that problem from time to time. And the insecurity I feel is stemming from two follies: 1) I forgot that I am Heavenly Father's child and that provides me with infinite worth and 2) I began comparing my weaknesses to everyone else's strengths.

Both of those are relatively easy to fix: I heard in Church on Sunday that Heavenly Father focuses on our strengths. He sees our immense potential and encourages that. He also helps keep us in line if we really need it, but He focuses on the good as a general rule. If He's focused on the good, I can be too. I am my harshest critic and so I'll notice my flaws and work to improve them, but there's no reason to get down on myself because I haven't yet reached my full potential. Because I'll always be getting better than I am. And that's what He wants.