A Newly-Discovered Talent

I learned tonight that I am excellent at talking on the phone. . . even if there's nobody on the other line. I can still carry on a brilliant conversation that keeps that one weird guy walking behind me at bay. I suppose I'm just a superb conversationalist ;)

Maybe I should have been more kind and let the awkward envelop me, but I wasn't in the mood for it tonight. So I talked. And told the "person on the other line" all sorts of good stories, and she told me a few herself. And I made it through my walk to rehearsal safely entertained.

I figure by telling you this that you'll either laugh and think I'm ridiculous (which I readily admit to) or stare at the screen in shock thinking I am the most horrid person on the planet. But I have no control over what you think or feel. This is who I was tonight. Maybe that person will be different, and more kind, next week. Who knows?

To the Guys

Those, my dear prince, were the wrong words to say.

And it's so easy to see his mistake when it's carefully woven into a movie, but it seems like things like this happen in real life much more often than we'd like to admit.

Don't get my wrong. Girls need to be told they're beautiful. Because we are.

HOWEVER. . .

If those are the first words out of your mouth when a girl asks you why you like her. . .

You're in trouble.

At least if that girl is me. Because those words, when used in that context, are poison.

I know that I'm not going to be physically beautiful forever. Someday, I'm going to gain weight because I have children. Someday, I'm going to have tired eyes that never seem to look fully rested. Someday I'm going to get wrinkles and age marks and I'll start losing my gray (or white) hair. It's going to happen. And I need to know that my husband won't stop loving me because my beauty fades. Because when he does, that means he really loves me.

Birthdays Are Happy Things

So I'm nineteen now. . . Hearing that doesn't make me feel older, though. I still feel quite young. And I know a lot of people who would love to feel that way. So I've decided to embrace and enjoy it. I mean, you're only nineteen once.

My birthday was the best ever! Thanks to the wonderful people in my life.

My aunt's birthday is two days before mine so we had a family birthday party celebrating all the January birthdays. She did it at her house, civilized-style. We had a butler (her husband):

And fun hats. . .

It was so wonderful being with them. We had a marvelous time.

And then for my birthday I got to work at my old job--and before you have a heart attack at the fact that got to work is in that sentence, you have to realize that I have to work. Working at the call center instead of on campus was a bonus.)

While I was on my break, I got a text from one of the girls I work with on campus. I got moved to a different position at semester, and this girl is the one who took my old spot. She is an absolute dear and I've loved getting to know her, but the texts she was sending me on my birthday were not making me all that excited:

"Hey Cambry are you coming in to work today?"

When I told her that no, I wasn't, I was at my other job, she sent me another couple asking me first when I would be back on campus and second if I could come in at three and help her with something real quick. I didn't want to leave her stranded at her job, and she told me it wouldn't take more than fifteen minutes, so I consented. I had class around that time anyway so I'd be around.

Well when I got there at three, the two girls I work with were ready with a cheesecake and a candle. They sang to me and we had a grand old time with each other. See: 

I think it's safe to say that I work with the best people ever! The thing is, the idea of a surprise party did cross my mind, but I quickly dismissed it as a romantic ideal. But now I can cross this off my things-I-have-no-control-over-but-still-want-to-happen-someday bucket list!

Birthdays are are wonderful. And this past one was full of wonderful. And happy. I think nineteen is a good age to be.

P.S. Also, one of my friends gave me Curious George for my birthday. I think it's safe to say that he is one of my favorite people right now. I can finally watch it!

Shoes. I Pretty Much Hate Them.

I have incredibly difficult feet to fit into shoes. I am an eight and a half double-wide, and the shoe can't extend above a certain point on my foot or my instep won't let me put the shoe on. I have always struggled to find shoes--when dances came around, instead of worrying about the dress (thankfully those fit without alterations), I would stress for weeks about the shoes I'd have to find. Shoes just aren't easy friends for me to find.

Today I got this e-mail from my mom:

"Good news, I was looking for some shoes in a 3E width and I found some that I know you'll love for your birthday.  But I can't wait so here's your sneak peak.  Don't you just LOVE them?  Don't worry that they cost $165 because you must have shoes that fit your feet!!!

Love you,

Mom"

And this was the attached picture:

They are honestly some of the ugliest shoes I have ever seen, but her e-mail sounded so excited that I thought she was serious. I sent her this text when I saw the e-mail:

"Mom, not to rain on your parade, but I don't like the shoes. I think they're kind of ugly. And I don't need any more black shoes. Brittney wants to know if you were joking about them."

My mom called me back practically in tears because she was laughing so hard.

Basically, I am THE most gullible person on the planet. At least we got a good laugh out of the whole thing. After I'd gotten over the fact that I'd been had, of course. What can I say? I trust my mom.

So I'm Still Five

"What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell 

you is that when you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and 

seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when 

you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you 

don't. You open your eyes and everything's just like yesterday, only it's 

today. And you don't feel eleven at all. You feel like you're still ten. And you 

are --underneath the year that makes you eleven."

-Sandra Cisneros, "The Red Sweater"

So I'm still five:

• I still adore coloring books and possess one in my apartment. I choose to see it as an adorable quirk as opposed to a strange obsession.

• Bubbles still fascinate me.

• I get grumpy if I don't get enough sleep and try to get a nap if there's any time for one.

• I still think I love fruit snacks and when I get Scooby-Doo ones from the vending machine at school it's a special kind of wonderful. They make me happy.

• I have an intense desire to watch Curious George that has persisted for over a year now. I'm finally going to resolve that and watch it sometime in the near future, though.

But I'm also still sixteen:

• I get excited when someone asks me on a date.

• I still daydream about my future (even though a lot of that future I dreamed about back then is happening right now).

• I still get scared to drive sometimes.

• I'm still terrified about being in a relationship, but a lot of me wants it anyway.

• I still believe people when they tell me they love me and that I'm beautiful (which I am ;) )

• My face still shows exactly what I'm thinking and feeling.

• The world is full of good.

And eighteen:

• The world isn't perfect.

• I'm more responsible and will do homework before playing.

• I have a desire to practice every day.

• I recognize that I can be friends with people and not tell them my entire life story.

• I'm in charge of me. My family is there to help when I absolutely need it, but I am the one who solves my problems.

• My world is a much bigger, more amazing place.

And I'll be nineteen in less than a week. I wonder what that has in store for me. I guess the future will let me know when it gets here.

Simply Put,

Writer's block is the bane of my existence.

The End.

Yes, Please

If someone sincerely told me these things I just might fall for him :)

The music video is slightly disorienting so I'd recommend minimizing the screen while you listen. But if you want to watch, be my guest! :)