Shoes. I Pretty Much Hate Them.

I have incredibly difficult feet to fit into shoes. I am an eight and a half double-wide, and the shoe can't extend above a certain point on my foot or my instep won't let me put the shoe on. I have always struggled to find shoes--when dances came around, instead of worrying about the dress (thankfully those fit without alterations), I would stress for weeks about the shoes I'd have to find. Shoes just aren't easy friends for me to find.

Today I got this e-mail from my mom:

"Good news, I was looking for some shoes in a 3E width and I found some that I know you'll love for your birthday.  But I can't wait so here's your sneak peak.  Don't you just LOVE them?  Don't worry that they cost $165 because you must have shoes that fit your feet!!!

Love you,

Mom"

And this was the attached picture:

They are honestly some of the ugliest shoes I have ever seen, but her e-mail sounded so excited that I thought she was serious. I sent her this text when I saw the e-mail:

"Mom, not to rain on your parade, but I don't like the shoes. I think they're kind of ugly. And I don't need any more black shoes. Brittney wants to know if you were joking about them."

My mom called me back practically in tears because she was laughing so hard.

Basically, I am THE most gullible person on the planet. At least we got a good laugh out of the whole thing. After I'd gotten over the fact that I'd been had, of course. What can I say? I trust my mom.

So I'm Still Five

"What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell 

you is that when you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and 

seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when 

you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you 

don't. You open your eyes and everything's just like yesterday, only it's 

today. And you don't feel eleven at all. You feel like you're still ten. And you 

are --underneath the year that makes you eleven."

-Sandra Cisneros, "The Red Sweater"

So I'm still five:

• I still adore coloring books and possess one in my apartment. I choose to see it as an adorable quirk as opposed to a strange obsession.

• Bubbles still fascinate me.

• I get grumpy if I don't get enough sleep and try to get a nap if there's any time for one.

• I still think I love fruit snacks and when I get Scooby-Doo ones from the vending machine at school it's a special kind of wonderful. They make me happy.

• I have an intense desire to watch Curious George that has persisted for over a year now. I'm finally going to resolve that and watch it sometime in the near future, though.

But I'm also still sixteen:

• I get excited when someone asks me on a date.

• I still daydream about my future (even though a lot of that future I dreamed about back then is happening right now).

• I still get scared to drive sometimes.

• I'm still terrified about being in a relationship, but a lot of me wants it anyway.

• I still believe people when they tell me they love me and that I'm beautiful (which I am ;) )

• My face still shows exactly what I'm thinking and feeling.

• The world is full of good.

And eighteen:

• The world isn't perfect.

• I'm more responsible and will do homework before playing.

• I have a desire to practice every day.

• I recognize that I can be friends with people and not tell them my entire life story.

• I'm in charge of me. My family is there to help when I absolutely need it, but I am the one who solves my problems.

• My world is a much bigger, more amazing place.

And I'll be nineteen in less than a week. I wonder what that has in store for me. I guess the future will let me know when it gets here.

Simply Put,

Writer's block is the bane of my existence.

The End.

Yes, Please

If someone sincerely told me these things I just might fall for him :)

The music video is slightly disorienting so I'd recommend minimizing the screen while you listen. But if you want to watch, be my guest! :)

Yup.

Love this movie, love this scene. Although, I'm not sure I'd want a guy telling me the stuff in the first two and a half minutes of the clip. . . ;)

All My Friends. . .

Okay, so it's not this extreme, but it is starting to feel a little like it (By the way, if you haven't read this book I wholeheartedly recommend it. It is a fabulous--and quick--read. Well worth your time.). I was invited to three mission farewells today, I was only physically able to make it to two.

But all my friends, although not dead, are leaving to different parts of the world. And it's for a good purpose, and I love that they are good enough and strong enough to serve, but it's weird at the same time. And I'm going to be one of those almost-dead friends too.

I think the weirdest part about all of this is the fact that I've known a lot of these people for years. And they've been a good part of my life. And now they're leaving. And I'm leaving, and everyone's going to change. For the better of course, but we will still all change. Isn't it crazy? Once you're out of high school, everything--everything--changes except the truth of this gospel. And that's why we're all willing to leave our family for eighteen to twenty-four months: we want others to know that there is hope in this world. There is a constant, and there is a way back to our Heavenly Father.

Alive Again

This is going to sound pretty nerdy but. . .

I

Love 

Band!

Oh how I've missed it. And, like with everything else in this world, I didn't know just how much it did for me until it wasn't there. And even then I didn't realize how much it feeds me until tonight. 

Tonight I played in a wind symphony.

It's the lower of the two non-audition bands, but I still love it. To be able to make music with a group, to move with a mutual purpose, to play. . . It gives me life. It lifts me up.

(This sounds super cheesy, I know. But I'm on cloud nine right now)

I've said this before, but it's as true today as it was the last time I said it. And the time before that, and all the times before that: music is and always must be a major part of my life. Without music, I honestly believe I'll shrivel up. Thank goodness I'm blessed enough to have music in my life. Because that way, I can truly live.